Such a shit... ive seen that the limit of my bank account is reached and its just the middle of the month... how could that have been happened? This month i had many different suddenly pays, things which i had to buy for university... such a shit... im such an unlucky person in the last time. There is nothing which will i apparently leave out.

I feel like ive lost all, family, friends... but why? Nothing which would explain it happened. But ok... my both sisters become a baby. But, what about my parents? I think i mean nothing to them, because im not so "wonderful" like one of my sisters. I think, she has that life which my mother ever wanted, and cause of that reason she wants to be a part of her life. We, her other children are nothing more then dirt for her. So funny... one time she told me that she believes that i want to kill her. How stupid is that... i think to much about the past, so that i can't really look into the future. Im still missing a family who to takes care for each other.